I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
