Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
