Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
