I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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