I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
