In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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