He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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