people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
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So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
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Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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