Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
