Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We have so much sex to catch up on
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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