Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize