talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
After last night, I could never be a politician.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
