Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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