Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
