yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
accomplished twins. life is a go
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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