worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he puts the penis in happiness.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
