I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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