What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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