Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Randomize
