nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
