im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
