The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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