I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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