My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
