just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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