I murdered the dance floor call the cops
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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