a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
birth control should be required to get into college
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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