Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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