he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
