Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
