We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
