I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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