Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
