He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
