I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize