his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
