I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We had sex on a dog bed..
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So. Much. Porn.
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