she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
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you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
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The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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