thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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