It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
