just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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