apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
