Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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