I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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