Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize