Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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