Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
