Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
