Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
