im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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