theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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