Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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