I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
