i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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