Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
