Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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