Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
