Your tits are I can't wait for
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
