How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize