I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize