hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
