i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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