Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
