are you so shy because you have an std?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
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My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
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You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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