Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
