you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
