I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
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If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
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Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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