I'm so fucking centered right now
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
