i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize